But one night a year ago, everything changed. Their good time got out of hand. And in the cold blue light of morning, June knew only this—things would never be the same again. And now, a year later, Delia is dead.
June is certain she was murdered. And she owes it to her to find out the truth…which is far more complicated than she ever could have imagined. Sexy, dark, and atmospheric, Suicide Notes from Beautiful Girls will keep you guessing until the very last page. July 7, Kobo ebook.
Available for download. He's supposed to spend 6 weeks being treated there and to understand the reasons why he hurt himself. Despite being told in 1st person POV, Jeff is in self-denial and does not want to acknowledge the origin of his problems or what really happened that led to him taking such a definitive and desperate action. So we, the readers, are completely left in the dark about pretty much everything that took place before him being hospitalized.
But slowly, as Jeff gradually comes around and faces the bitter consequences of what he's done, we discover bits and pieces of the puzzle that eventually will give him, and consequently us, realization of his real problem. I know this sounds really vague but it's better to discover Jeff's motives by reading this book. I really liked this narrative strategy, it spurs the reader to go on keeping the interest high and makes the discoveries all the more dramatic. Aside from the heavy theme of the book, be warned that there are some sex scenes which put this book in the more adult section of the YA genre.
Pretty graphic and raw, too. Yet, I wish this book were read by all teens and I hope by the time my kids will grow up I will still remember this book, so that I can give it to them to read. Highly recommended. View all 5 comments. Nov 13, LenaRibka rated it really liked it Shelves: michael-thomas-ford , humor , 1st-person-pov , favourite-read , make-me-cry , make-me-laugh , contemporary , young-adult , psychological-aspect.
The first one, The Road Home , a contemporary romance about coming home with a nice unexpected twist of mystery in it, has sparked my interest for his works. The second one, Full Circle , an amazing epic story of love, friendship and male bonding, touched me greatly and made me feel and think about even days after I'd finished it.
Probably my favourite of this author for now and for sure one of my favourite books of this year. And now Suicide Notes , a YA novella. Totally different story. And you know what? Michael Thomas Ford wrote it with a such skilful feeling of lightness and freshness as if he has never written nothing else in his life than YA books. And I would have probably skipped it if my gaze hadn't incidentally caught the genre that 34 readers at least it was so many at that moment defined this book into.
Me: Is it supposed to be funny?! Now I know-YES. But not only. I have always believed that some serious things are more impressive if they are told not with an iron face. And I'm glad that the author chosen this form of telling. I LOVE the characters that have a sense of humour, I adore the authors who can skilfully use their unique sense of humour as an ingenious tool in their books.
Michael Thomas Ford is one of them. After he tried to commit suicide. So it is not a story that ends with a suicide. OMG, can I say it this way? He HAS to spend 45 days in the psychiatric ward. With another patients. But Jeff is not crazy. The other-yes, they're nuts, but not Jeff. All he wants is to get out of there and forget this incident. He is not going to do this stuff like a group therapy, these silly psychotherapeutic sessions and answering the stupid questions!
But he can drive his doc up the wall and force him to threw him out. He is here by mistake, it is as clear as day. It is what he believes. But is it really so? And WHY did he cut his wrists? I see this book not only as a very entertaining read, it is a tiny but significant contribution to a very serious topic.
I've read some reviews, and I can't understand the statements like "nobody has to kill himself because of being gay in our modern time. The truth is - it's easy to talk how easy it is to be smart if you're 40 years old. Jeff is And in spite of his big mouth, he is just an insecure teenager who feels and knows that he is different, but who doesn't have enough life experience and guts to make the right conclusions and decision to handle perfectly all those different and painful situations in his teeny life.
Besides this book is not about a sudden realizing of being gay. But I'm talking too much. Ignore me. Just read this book. And make me happy loving it. Please, love it. Thank you. View all 40 comments. May 28, Maria rated it really liked it. Y'all ever read a book and then regret reading it? Not that you hate it but you just can't stop thinking about it and you can relate it, can feel all the emotions the characters went through.
This is that kinda book. The one that leave you with heartache. I don't think I'll ever forget this one. I love the characters and I love the tune, one minute I was laughing and the next having an emotional fit.
Sadie's death, Jeff, Martha and Alice's agonies, God! All this pain in the world!!! So many mise Y'all ever read a book and then regret reading it? So many miserable souls. I wanted to hug them all!! I hope everyone struggling out there find help and way outta their sufferings. But you can. It feels like something has crumbled inside you and the pieces are falling into your stomach.
It hurts more than any punch ever could. At least for a little while. Then it was like someone grabbed me by the foot and yanked me down, back toward Earth. It was just the consolation prize—you got the great costume and the invisible jet for being a loser in everything else Mar 30, Natalie Monroe rated it really liked it Shelves: bubbling-understars , lazy-open-endings , real-problems , pleasantly-surprised , laugh-out-loud-humor , lgbtqia-if-you-squint , mental-illness.
Eating disorders, suicides, rape But then all that excess of Jodi Picoult and Laurie Halse Anderson made me seriously depressed and I moved on to the bestselling Paranormal Romances at the time. Boy, was that a whole different bucket of depression.
Let's hear it for bad life choices. Suicide Notes is unlike any YA issue-driven contemporary I have ever read. For one, it's funny. Could I maybe have some study time first? I wouldn't want to bring the curve down for the whole class or anything. The MC, Jeff, is delightfully snarky. Usually for these kinds of books, the main character's thoughts are scattered and disorientated and often, you feel as though you're sloughing through of a swamp of purple metaphors.
Or they're so filled of self-deprecating hatred, you cringe. It's written in purple prose too, by the way. It seems to be a general rule. Jeff isn't like that. He basically blows all the preconceptions and stereotypes of suicidal people out of the water. He doesn't write sad poetry or listen to death metal. He wasn't bullied regularly and has good relationships with his family.
He's simply your average sarcastic teenage boy can I get a what-what for Percy Jackson? Then one day, something happened and he broke. Parents will freak about this, but sometimes it just happens without warning. You can insure against a car crash and a fire, but you can't insure against life.
The writing is simple, but effective. It actually feels like the narrator is talking to you and telling you the story, and it's a writing style I appreciate. At the same time, it contains snippets of the sort of unexpected metaphors you'd find in The Book Thief. I mean, what's the truth? Planes falling out of the sky. Buses blowing up and ripping little kids into millions of pieces. Twelve-year-olds raping people and then shooting them in the head so they can't tell. I can't watch the news anymore or look at the papers.
It's like whoever sits up there in Heaven has this big bag of really crappy stuff, and once or twice a day she or he reaches in and sprinkles a little bit of it over the world and makes everything crazy, like fairy dust that's past its expiration date.
Only the ball was really radioactive, and they all died from the poison. The poison comes out, and you die, even though you have beautiful glowing pieces of blue truth in your fingers. The mystery of why Jeff decided to kill himself is handled very well.
It's not like in The Maze Runner , where they dangle the truth tantalizingly in front of your face, but never let you know. It's done right, with foreshadowing and hints and you can piece it together along the way. I admit I "Yes! The ending left too many loose threads for my taste though.
There were so many questions left unanswered: What happened to Rankin? Why was Bone in the ward? What will become of Martha? Will Jeff view spoiler [make up with Allie? Sorry, got distracted. I typing this before lunch and there's chocolate cake in the fridge.
Bottom line: Suicide Notes is amazing and unconventional. Now go read it while I raid the kitchen. Table manners optional. View all 8 comments. Oct 18, Rachael rated it did not like it Shelves: kids-books , so-very-very-gay , suicide. I'll say it flat out: I detested this book. If I had read it ten or fifteen years ago, I may have thought it was okay, but this isn't the early nineties anymore.
Gay kids don't always have to hate themselves and try to commit suicide. Even if it does actually happen sometimes in real life, isn't it better to STOP writing books about how troubled and messed up gay kids are, and focus instead on writing books about how gay kids lead, I don't know, happy and productive lives?
All of these authors write fairly realistic portrayals of gay teens without drawing on the old 'being gay makes you want to kill yourself' stereotype. Add to this fundamental problem of an outdated storyline some fairly mundane, if not downright weak, writing, a main character who is not particularly interesting generic teenage standoffish behavior seems to be his only real personality trait , and a 'mystery' that was obvious within the first couple of chapters, and you come up with a book that is pretty lackluster.
And then it gets downright offensive. I don't know about you, but when if I were to wake up to a naked person in my bed touching me sexually, and I said 'don't'. How can an author write a book for teens that includes this type of behavior without making it a point to state that it is basically rape? It's downright irresponsible. Having read some of Ford's adult novels, I know that he has talent as a writer.
However, being able to write well for adults doesn't always translate into writing well for children or teens. In this case, he failed. Apr 02, Kyle rated it did not like it Shelves: literature-fiction , lgbtqia , ya , worst-of-the-worst. Actual rating: 1. I used to think this was sort of a contemporary YA cult, for some reason, but I just realised that not many of my friends have read it. In any case, it should be a cult, if nothing else because it's a book that can help.
It can help teens understand themselves and others and it can help adults understand teens. It's divided in 45 chapters, one for each day Jeff spends in the psychiatric ward of a hospital following his failed duh suicide attempt, but it feels like 45 minutes. I gobbled it up in I used to think this was sort of a contemporary YA cult, for some reason, but I just realised that not many of my friends have read it. I gobbled it up in less than 24 hours - it had me captivated, horrified, saddened, amused and absolutely enthralled.
Jeff is a weirdly lovable protagonist. Thinking in stereotypes, he is the epitome of a fifteen-year-old with his cynicism, sarcasm and entertaining fuck-all attitude, but there is a sweetness and gentleness to him that get ready - this is going to sound really lame only comes out for the worthy, the people he considers more deserving of kindness because of who they are and what they've been through.
That may sound arbitrary and incongruous, but it actually shows a part of him, buried under all the teenage attitude, that cares deeply about others, a protective streak that's going to make him a wonderful person in the years to come. His voice reminded me a bit of Greg Gaines's, from Jesse Andrews's Me and Earl and the Dying Girl , only it's much more bearable likeable, because his story is rigidly structured and chronologically narrated, and the flashbacks are delivered rarely and on a strictly need-to-know basis.
Jeff has this strange ability to come up with wonderful concepts and imagery and deliver them off-handedly, as if unaware of their beauty - but MTF is perfectly well aware of what he's created: naked skeleton trees juggling cotton balls and snowflakes like galaxies rushing by are the sort of similes you don't come across everyday, and they strike that much more powerfully because of that.
He is unaware of his own feelings for the most part, and those he's aware of he tends to hide from himself and the reader, but he makes some remarkable points all throughout the book, like this one, which I felt the need to include because it's probably something we've all thought about once or twice, and if we haven't, we should. It makes me a little mad. Everyone just assumes that they do. You practically have to hold a news conference and take out an ad in the newspaper.
Very warmly recommended. Mar 30, Pavellit rated it it was amazing Shelves: audiobook , ya-na. Why is it that you have to warn people about who you are?
Moving through these 45 chapters he gets to know the other kids in the ward Alice, Bone, Juliet, Rankin, Sadie, Martha, Squirrels , talks to his therapist, Dr. What kind of name is that? It's funny, sad, entertaining, and a bit disturbing to read the events through his mind. He has a unique way of looking at the world. I wonder what Cat Poop would do if next time he starts nosing around in my brain, I just bite him?
The heart and realism of the book creates a space for recognizable characters. How many Alices and Bones and Juliets and Rankins. How many Sadies and Marthas and Squirrels. How many Jeffs. And I wonder how many of us get out. Suicide is never your only option. Shelves: read-in , ya , lgbtqia. This is a very successful and fully realized first person point of view.
In some ways I feel like the major themes in this book need to be spoiled, because it will attract more readers. But on the other hand, I think that it was a real stroke of genius for the author to leave us in the dark. Jeff would rather forget and reject himself, and so by extension, do we. We only come to realize what Jeff is going through in small degrees, which perfectly m This is a very successful and fully realized first person point of view. We only come to realize what Jeff is going through in small degrees, which perfectly mirrors the uncertainty and shame that he experiences.
The bandages on his wrists are nothing, just a bit of juvenile melodrama. Everyone tries it once, right? Jeff hides behind a thick layer of sarcasm and anger, which brings a surprising amount of lightness and humor to this book. Cat Poop Katzrupus, and his rapport with his sister Amanda all had me snickering.
When Jeff finally lets himself remember the circumstances leading up to his suicide, I was so consumed by his feelings that I found myself cringing with shame and embarrassment. I had to retreat back into my own head, where I could see everything more clearly. I love that neither Jeff nor any of the other patients are magically cured. Nothing here is stable, especially not identity. I felt so sad for Rankin, but the next minute I wanted to give him my frostiest mom glare and tell him to leave my boy alone.
How I wished that he could have the awkward dates, the first kisses, the anniversaries and school dances, instead of accepting this attention from Rankin.
Mwa ha ha! The lyrics are sad, angry, and wistful as he remembers someone who was a close childhood friend and who he lost to suicide. View all 21 comments. Or whatever. The oth 4. This book caused very strong reactions in me, as you can probably tell. Perfect combination of Family. But one night a year ago, everything changed.
Their good time got out of hand. And in the cold blue light of morning, June knew only this—things would never be the same again. And now, a year later, Delia is dead. June is certain she was murdered. And she owes it to her to find out the truth…which is far more complicated than she ever could have imagined. Sexy, dark, and atmospheric, Suicide Notes from Beautiful Girls will keep you guessing until the very last page. Lynn Weingarten is a writer and editor.
She lives in Brooklyn, New York. The novel is quietly suspenseful; readers will be draw to the well-written and well-rounded characters—even the supporting players.
Thoughtful and provocative, this will be a hard book for teen readers to put down until the thrilling, twisted end. Tell us what you like and we'll recommend books you'll love. Sign up and get a free ebook! Table of Contents Excerpt Rave and Reviews.
About The Book. For the ten days of winter break, I drove. I made my way past the crumbling houses in my neighborhood, the mansions a few miles away, out toward the hills and then back again through stretches of cold, flat land. Up and down the Schuylkill River and up and down the Delaware, I cranked the radio and sang loud. I needed to hear a live human voice, and I was my own best hope.
But now break is over. My phone buzzes in my pocket. Then a second later another one: not herpes. I write back: good because it would be really awkward if we got each other the same present.
I click send with one frozen finger. Warm puffs of air escape through my smile. That was two entire days ago! She grins as though I mean this as a compliment. But we talk in homeroom sometimes, and neither of us has a lot of other options, is I guess the truth of it.
Her boyfriend, Rader, lives thirty-five minutes away, right at the edge of Philly, in a run-down apartment that he shares with friends.
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